X-Cutioner's Song Part 5: Uncanny X-Men #295

 

What’s up, nerds? We’re back at it again with the fifth single released in the album that is X-Cutioner’s Song. Today we confront Uncanny X-Men #295, and we have returned to our first creative team from this endeavor. Written by Scott Lobdell, with pencils from Brandon Peterson, ink from Terry Austin, colors from Michael Thomas and letters by Chris Eliopoulos, the issue opens with Apocalypse in incredible pain. Having been roused from his Odin sleep far too early by his Dark Riders, the emaciated Ancient Egyptian scales the cliffs to a mansion that he formerly used as a hideout. He rejoices in the pain as it justifies his mantra that only the fit survive.  As he claws his way to the top, seeking to find out what could drive his minions to confront the X-Men without his permission, he is confronted by the cadre of mutant heroes who left to investigate Scott and Jeans disappearance. Smash cut to Westchester County where we see Jubilee upbraiding the incarcerated X-Force for being spoiled brats, largely unloading her anger about the Professors condition on to them. Cannonball ruminates on his teams condition as Strong Guy kicks Jubilee out. They’re watched over by Lorna Dane in the control room as she decries her complicity in X-Factors imprisonment of kids. Havok justifies their actions as necessary because X-Force is suspected accomplices of Cable, and they can’t verify the kids claims they have cut ties with Cable. This touching discourse is cut short as the X-Men are called to a briefing and we are called back to the confrontation with Apocalypse. As battle commences, Iceman claims that Mr. Sinister has pointed the finger at Apocalypse as the mastermind and Apocalypse is agog that the X-Men would believe the evil Englishman (see our last installment).  Apocalypse hulks up and gains the upper hand in the battle as he complains about being used as a pawn. Here we have another sudden cut to Jean Grey as we see Phoenix trapped in what is probably most tactfully described as a cyberpunk fisherman’s wife. Trapped in a cold grasping embrace where her powers are of no use, she is being tortured by Stryfe. The madman monologues that “A horrifying feeling, no? To be clutched and clawed by strange, unfeeling, uncaring alien hands? Not at all unlike, I must assume, what an innocent babe feels when bereft of the love and warmth that is its birthright?” Once again stating, or at least heavily implying, that he has some sort of vindictive childlike bond to our two heroes.

We now cut again back to the X-Mansion where we join the briefing in progress. We learn that the image Mr. Sinister showed Val Cooper last issue of the mastermind was Stryfe. Our heroes have little information on him beside his name and leadership of the MLF. Jubilee is in a bad mood and makes a crack about Stryfe being Cable walking around in an ice bucket, which is treated as a possibility by the team. Val Cooper asks where Bishop and Wolverine have got off to as Rogue and Gambit cover for them. We cut to an unidentified location in Canada as the two are in the midst of breaking into a CDS installation for Department K to find information on Cables past with the Canadian intelligence agency. Colossus and Archangel briefly gain the upper hand before Apocalypses hulks up again and uses the teleportation technology that he had stashed in his secret base to escape. He also wants to investigate who is trying to manipulate him and the X-Men, which at this point is seemingly Stryfe. We cut back to New York as we see Gambit and Havok attempt to good cop, bad cop their way into answers from Cannonball. They need information on Stryfe and the MLFs location and Sam says he can provide it with a presidential pardon for his team and access to X-Factors computers but ends up settling for their freedom. We smash back to the Department K installation where Cable is also looking for information on Stryfe and the MLFs location as well before he runs right into Bishop and Wolverine as the issue ends.

All in all, a good action packed issue of superhero comics. I have complaints about how Scott Lobdell writes Jubilee like he has met a teenager maybe once, but he is moving the plot along at a commendable pace. We are now focused in on Stryfe who is far and away the most interesting part of this event. His weird parent issues are kind of uncomfortable to see on the panel, but the fundamental feeling of a child abandoned by his parents and the world lashing out is fascinating. Apocalypse is largely playing second fiddle to Sinister and Stryfe but gets a couple of excellent monologues. The art is nothing to write home about as I have touched on previously but there are a few instances where its egregious. When he arrives at Department K at the end of the issue he looks as wide as two refrigerators. But when all is said and done it works as it needs to and the issue is pretty solid. 8/10